When I wrote this a year ago, I was writing it for myself too. Personally, I was unsure of my attitude towards motherhood. Every day felt like drowning in a sea of mundane, repetitive responsibilities. The diapers, dishes, laundry, and random messes felt like they ran my whole day. I was more maid than wife or mother.
I did a little reading and journaling on the vocation of motherhood. Here’s the attitude-adjustment that followed.
WorthRevisit is hosted by Reconciled to You
We all know that motherhood is a vocation. How that plays out looks different from family to family, and changes as life goes on. There are working moms, at-home moms, single moms, homeschool moms, etc. and significant overlap between groups. I respect every woman filling the occupation God has called her to.
What we’re talking about today isn’t the station, it’s the attitude. What is your attitude towards motherhood? Are you living an accidental life like I was? Here are some red flags, and readjustments, for your mothering perspective.
Mothering Feel Like a Job?
Some ways you may be treating motherhood as a casual job. You know, like that fast food job you had in high school, or the summer you worked sweeping up movie theatres. It wasn’t mindful work, that required a personal touch.
You’re Just Showing Up
Motherhood isn’t menial. A large part of the days is given over to physical care, true. Mom has to clean, tidy, feed, and care for the family. But when your heart and mind are elsewhere, everybody can feel it.
You’re Counting the Days
We all watch the clock until Daddy get home on some rough days. The problem starts when every day is a rough day. As the rough days become weeks, rolling into months, some women start marking the time until motherhood is over.
It’s heartbreaking for me to hear a woman proclaim how many years and months are remaining on her “18-year prison sentence”, until her youngest goes off to college. We say these things in jest, but little ears are always listening. If it hurts my heart, what is it doing to her children?
You Downplay Your Real Contributions
You make excuses for being a mom. Maybe you’re at an event, and someone is talking about the high-profile work they do. They manage 8000 teams of orphaned panda rescuers, aren’t they important? Then they ask what you do. You stammer. You cough. You smile shyly, “I’m just a mom.”
There is no “just a mom”
Be A Professional Mom: Treat It Like A Career
A low-level worker is required to follow the company script. But executives are given freedom to make professional judgements. Here’s the thing, you have always had this decision-making capability. You may have just been ceding decision-making power to automatic habit. Mother intentionally. Stop the accidental life.
Ongoing Professional Development
Have you ever heard the speech of a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or a world-renowned director, as they receive an award? Not once has any successful professional said “I got here today by graduating school, getting my first job, and never learning to better my skills.”
The secret of success is continual development. Investing in your skillset. Putting in the time to improve your craft. Read books, network with other starters, and gracefully ask a mentor for guidance.
There’s only one source of status, and you already have it. You are a daughter of the King. An image-bearer of God. There is no higher status to attain to. However, many of us forget that we already have all the status we need.
Your status is whatever you present. No one can tell you what your self-worth is. We define that ourselves. Through our actions, our words, our comportment. We tell the world that who we are, and that what we do has value. Moms matter. Motherhood is a genuine career.